This is Suicide Awareness Week
Did you know that suicide is the number two killer of our fine college youth?
So, I just thought I would take this time to tell you all I love you very much; no matter what, we will always be proud of you; there is nothing more important to us all than your health and sanity. If you liver hurts? go to the doctor; if you girlfriend left you? go watch the sequel to The Player. If she won't even pay enough attention to you to dump you? read some D.H. Lawrence... If you are dying? read some D.H. Lawrence. If you are sick of reading D.H. Lawrence, and have already seen The Science of Sleep, can't drinking because you're worried about your liver, and still have a beautiful loving sexual partner... well, maybe you should kill yourself.
but really, be wall
be very very wall